Being a stay at home mum is usually one of those things where when people hear about it they assume that it’s easy or people have kids so they can stay at home. In reality being a stay at home mum is one of the most skilful and difficult jobs you can do.Days of only speaking to the baby and your other half, having to balance doing all of the housework with having a needy and ever demanding baby and working all day every day (and night.) I haven’t had more than 6 hours sleep (still interrupted) since the baby has been born and sometimes the tiredness is unfathomable but you get through it.
Although being tired is something that is fairly easy to deal with, one of the things which is more challenging is the baby blues, especially in the first few months. It really is a struggle and I’m not saying this to put anyone off having babies but it is the truth. I have suffered with years and years of mental health difficulties and found that this was one of the things that I was most nervous about when I was close to having Leo.
When Leo was first-born, even though all there was extreme love for him and It was the happiest I had ever been in my entire life I found myself crying and feeling horrificly low for weeks. The smallest thing would set me off, like adverts and being out of my favourite food, I’d be bawling and feel like I couldn’t cope.
Luckily I found that after a few months my hormones settled down and I was happier in general but there was the still the fact that staying at home all day with minimal interaction plays havoc with your mental health. There are a number of ways that I have been able stay as positive as possible for my mental health and for Leo.
- One of the ways that helps me is my blog, I have found it extremely positive to write down what I’m feeling or what I want to write about and being able to interact with other people online. I have made so many online friends and some days when the only words that I’ve uttered are high-pitched monosyllabic squeaks having people who I can message really get you up. I now understand the ‘Facebook mum’. Also being able to have my own identity and not just being Leo’s mum has been a real help. I have been able to keep my identity and my interests and have something to look forward to.
- Have goals and ambitions is a massive point. Ricardo and myself talk every day about the future and even though it might be a bit difficult with money at the moment it doesn’t really get us down because we just talk about how we can better ourselves and all the things we want to be able to provide Leo with. Even though he wasn’t born into the most ideal circumstances with our ages and situations but I am adamant that I am going to give Leo everything that he needs in the world and more.
- My friends have been the biggest godsend and have been such positive people in my life whether it’s online or trips for tea into our city they have been so positive. You hear every day people talking about how when they’ve had babies they’ve lost a lot of friends but I feel like I’ve been so blessed because I’ve got all of my friends and even gained some new friends. I can’t explain the amount of times I’ve needed my friends support.
I hope you’ve enjoyed reading this,